If your kid was struggling, you’d want them to tell you, right? If they didn’t understand something in class, you’d want them to ask the teacher. If your neighbor needed something, you wouldn’t mind if they mentioned it. If your spouse was overwhelmed and needed a hand, you’d expect them to come to you.
Okay. But what about you? Are you okay? More importantly, are you asking for help where you need it when you are not okay?
Remember, we have to model the behavior we want our kids to learn. So if you refuse to ask for directions when you’re obviously lost, what does that say? If you refuse to admit you don’t know something, or making up an answer to a question instead of going and looking it up with them, what does that show them about figuring stuff out and learning? Why would they be okay being vulnerable with a doctor, a therapist, with Mom and Dad, if Dad is regularly showing them this is something to resist—that it’s something the person they admire is ashamed to do it themselves?
But this is about more than even that. You can’t be a good dad if you’re hurting and not getting help. You can’t be a good dad all by yourself. None of us are islands or invincible or all-knowing. To do our best, we have to be able to learn, to rely on others, to admit mistakes, to ask for help.
Show them that it’s okay to ask for help. Be better for them by asking for help.