They need a lot from you. They want a lot from you. The parenting books tell you one thing. The social media influencers tell you another. Your own parents did one thing. The trend is another.
So what do you do? What’s the formula for parenting? Is there one?
Probably not…and anyone that offers you one is probably full of it. But the chorus in Bon Iver’s “Skinny Love” might be worth turning into a kind of parenting philosophy:
And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
Your kids need patience, because they’re figuring this world out, just like you did once. They need balance, so they can see that life isn’t all highs and lows, but something in between. They need kindness, because that’s how they’ll learn to be kind in return. And they need you to be fine—not perfect, not a superhero—just fine, because that’s more than enough.
So if you’re ever overwhelmed by the noise of parenting advice, step back and hum that verse to yourself. Remember to be patient, fine, balanced, kind. Keep that formula in mind and it will add up to your kids remembering the love you gave them in their childhood and the love they felt for you in return.