We all do it. We chastise ourselves for getting upset, for letting things get to us. We beat ourselves up when we lose our cool and have to take a moment. We berate ourselves, thinking about a mistake we made and how it actually made that situation with our kids worse.
As parents, yes, we do this. But we need to shift our perspective—especially because we’d never react like this with our kids. If we knew they were trying their hardest, if we knew that they were just overstimulated, that they were exhausted, that they’d had a hard day at school before all of this happened—we’d react differently, wouldn’t we? We’d try to comfort them, we’d listen to what they needed, we’d be understanding, and we’d talk to them gently.
And what about us? We need to do these things with ourselves, too.
In one of the most beautiful passages in Seneca’s Letters from a Stoic (grab your copy from The Painted Porch here), he talks about a recent breakthrough he had: “I have begun to be a better friend to myself.” A person who is a friend to themselves, Seneca wrote, is an aid to all mankind. They are kind. They are calm. They have empathy—for themselves and for others. They handle struggles with patience. And these qualities radiate outward, rippling through the household.
Try to be a better friend to yourself. Try to not beat yourself up. When you’re caught up in some negative self-talk, try to interrupt yourself and say, “Hey, you’re not talking to a bad person.” Give yourself understanding, as you would your kids. Give yourself compassion, as you would your kids. Continue to be the good parent that you are—to yourself as well.
This is part of the reason we’ve reopened the 2026 Daily Stoic New Year, New You Challenge for a second session. In a year that’s already proven to be difficult, we all need to be better friends to ourselves—more positive, more resilient, more able to call upon our reserves to roll with whatever life throws our way.
Think of it as a second chance, a renewed opportunity. Because being more in tune with ourselves, more in control of ourselves, is a way we can feel more in control when the outside world seems so uncertain.
Join the challenge before it’s too late—sign up here now!
