You tell them you love them. You give them a squeeze as they get out of the car at school. You let them know you’re thinking about them.
You are not unaffectionate. Not like some people anyway, perhaps not like your parents might have been. But that’s not really how we ought to judge ourselves, is it? Whether we’re doing the minimum?
A couple of weeks ago, over in Daily Dad Society (our members group for dads—which we’d love to have you join), one of the dads shared something that hit a lot of the other dads in the group really hard. In fact, we ended up talking about it at some length during our monthly call, where we share ideas and help support each other through parenting challenges. “I didn’t grow up in a touchy, feely family and we rarely said ‘I love you,’” he said. “A mental health professional once told me to spend a week doing a ‘hug counter’ on the amount of times daily I hug my daughter. I was averaging around 2-3 hugs, which she told me was unacceptable.”
People will have different opinions on what that number is but it’s an interesting exercise regardless. How many hugs do you think you average in a day? How would you fare in such an audit? Where could you be more affectionate and connected and loving? And more importantly, what do you think it would change if you did?
If you’re committed to raising good humans and having these conversations, I invite you to join us for Daily Dad Society. It’s a community of parents just like you, trading advice and ideas, sharing stories of wins and missteps, and holding each other accountable to being the type of parent they want to be.
Every month, I join the community for our live call—we have discussions like these, with the goal of not only improving our parenting skills and understanding new perspectives, but building community. Building support for each other as we take on our most important job: parenthood.
