You have known your kids since they were little. You’ve seen them do the sweetest things in the entire world. You know who they are.
So here’s a question: When they screw up, when they fail a test, when they crash their car, when they get in trouble, when they talk back to you, why do you assume the worst? Why do you treat them with anger and judgment? Why do you jump all over them with criticism or frustration or suspicion?
You know they are good and decent. You know they generally do their best. You know what they struggle with. You know their fears and vulnerabilities and weaknesses. You know what they’ve been through (deep down, you know one of the things you’ve been through is being raised by you!).
So why isn’t that being reflected in your tone? In your assumptions? Where is the kindness? Where is the good faith? Why aren’t you talking to them like someone who believes in them, who is a fan of them? Where is the patience? Where is the charity? Where is the demonstrable “unconditional-ness” that you purport to have for them?
Mhm. That’s right. Oh and remember all this could be said about your interactions with your spouse too.