Well, of course those parents can be at every field trip and attend every performance. Of course they can do pickup and dropoff. One of them is a full-time parent. Or they both work from home. Or make their own schedule. Or they don’t have to think about money. Or they don’t have, as Hamilton sneeringly says of John Adams, a real job anyway.
That’s what you tell yourself.
But what if you saw it another way? What if those parents whom you judge or resent actually just have different priorities than you? What if they have decided their family is OK making a little less money? What if they have chosen to see their kids’ performances or being there after school not as an interruption from their job—but that these things are their job?
And hey, maybe there’s something to that?
Our kids are our most important job. Yes, we need to be making money, we need to be doing well in our other roles to provide that security for them—but our kids need to be at the very top of the list. We do these things for them. And perhaps we have to make certain sacrifices to that end. And what if we saw it that way?
Shift your perspective. Be the parent that goes to the chorus concert, the parent that commits to pickup and dropoff on certain days. Be the parent that shows up. See your kids as your top priority. It will shift the way you spend time with them, your relationship with them, and what you think is actually important.
P.S. We’ve started a supportive community where dads can talk all things parenting and we invite you to join us.
Each month in the Daily Dad Society, we come together for a live virtual call (hosted by me, Ryan) to talk about challenges, share wins, and generally support each other through our parenting journeys. We also have a private discussion platform and quarterly parenting book that we read and talk about together.
It all helps us to be a little bit better each day at our most important job, being a parent. It helps with perspective, too—with realizing what’s actually important and being there fully for our kids.
Check out dailydad.com/society to learn more and sign up. It really has become the dad group I always was looking for but hadn’t yet found. I hope it can become that for you too, and I look forward to welcoming you to Daily Dad Society!
