At the beginning of our careers, we have to say “yes.” We have to say “yes” a lot.

Yes to the late nights, to the unpleasant assignments, to the trips, to the work other people don’t want to do. We have to jump on every opportunity. We can’t turn down business.

We have to do this until we make it, until we get to a certain position of success or power or leverage. We do this until eventually we have the ability, even the necessity, to say “no.”

Then we have kids, and that’s one of the things that requires us to say “no.” The question is, after years of building that other habit, can you start doing it? Can you start saying “no?” Can you say “no” for them?

Because at some point, success stops being about how much you can take on—how much you achieve. It becomes about what you’re willing to turn down. The meeting. The trip. The extra money. Your kids need you to say “yes” to them, and sometimes the only way to do that is to say “no” to everything else.

P.S. Being a dad isn’t just something you are. It’s something you do—every day.

Daily Dad Society is a community of parents coming together to get better at their most important job. It’s not about perfection. It’s about showing up, and having people around you who are doing the same.

Join us at dailydad.com/society.