You wish your parents could have been different. Maybe a bit more understanding. Maybe a bit more supportive or loving. Maybe you wish they had their act together, that they got sober, that they could have provided more, better. Now that you’re older, you hear about people’s grandparents or their extended family and you wish you had something like that. That source of wisdom, that network, that place you could always go if you needed something. 

Well, that wishing isn’t going to get you far. We only get one go around on this planet and that’s how your turn ended up. But there is something you can do instead of wish. 

You can be.

You can be the kind of parents you wish you had. You can be supportive and loving. You can get your act together. You can provide. You can understand. And as they get older, you may well have the opportunity to be the grandparent you wish you had too—that fun, loving, wise resource that you didn’t get. You can be the extended family you never had. 

Wishing gets us nowhere and nothing but resentment and frustration. But being? Well, that will make all the difference in the world. For them and for us.