You have this dream of what your house should look like. You saw some piece of furniture on a showroom floor, on Instagram, at a friend’s house. It’s perfect. You buy it, you design the room…and you love it.

And then reality inevitably intrudes. And what is that reality? It’s that you have kids. Your home is going to be messy. Your stuff is never going to stay nice. There will be clutter on every surface, things that belong in the bathroom sitting on your kitchen counter, and things that should’ve gone back in the fridge, forgotten and making rings on that expensive table. There will be spills, stains, and countless broken things.

In a recent New York Times piece, writer and mom Elizabeth Austin talks about realizing that when she purchased a fancy sofa, she was “trying to impose a version of ‘home’ that didn’t match my real life.” The couch, while beautiful, wasn’t suited to a home with two teenagers, cats, and a pony-sized dog. It succumbed to those stains, didn’t comfortably fit everyone, and ultimately buckled beneath their combined weight one night.

The replacement? It was not quite so glamorous: A large, ugly—yet comfortable and washable—Costco couch. But it was actually perfect. Because your home is not a showroom. You don’t live in an Instagram fantasy world. Your stuff is for your kids, for your life. It’s not an expression of your style or validation of your success.

The couch is for your kids and your dog. For sleepovers and pizza nights and spilling and wrestling matches. That’s what your family needs. That’s what her family needed. And the sooner she embraced that—and the fact that this couch was washable—the happier everyone was.

P.S. Embracing all the challenges of parenthood can be hard. That’s why we created Daily Dad Society. It’s a community of supportive parents who share challenges, celebrate wins, and provide actionable advice for everyday parenting. Learn more and sign up today at dailydad.com/society.