You mean well. You do it because you care. You do it because you want them to be comfortable, to be safe, because you want to connect.

But all the fretting? You know it’s not doing anything for them. It’s just you trying to soothe yourself. It’s about your own guilt and anxiety.

They don’t need you to call and ask about every little detail. They don’t need you to check fifty times if they have their lunch or remembered their school project. They don’t need you to hover. They don’t need you to control every outcome.

Fretting is not a substitute for true connection. It’s not a substitute for real conversation. As we’ve said, there are so many things you could do instead. You could actually be curious about what’s going on with them. You could respect their space and boundaries. You could listen without trying to fix everything.

Stop bothering them. Stop making your worries their problem. If you want to serve them, be steady. Be present. Be someone they can talk to.

P.S. Daily Stoic LIVE with Ryan Holiday is coming to your city! Tour dates for summer and fall include cities across the US, Australia, and New Zealand.

Head to dailystoiclive.com for details and to purchase tickets.