We want our children to do well. We want them to succeed. We want them to do all the things that kids are supposed to do at their age. And we worry, quite reasonably, when it seems like they’re behind—behind their peers, not hitting commonly expected benchmarks.
Lincoln’s son Tad was a slow learner and probably dyslexic. He could not read until he was 12. He had a speech impediment and was not easy to understand. Naturally, he didn’t like school much and preferred running around, playing pranks on his tutors. This must have been tough for Lincoln. He had been a prodigy. His oldest, Robert, was clearly gifted, enrolling at Harvard at age 16. Lincoln was president for most of Tad’s childhood—there must have been so much unsolicited advice, so much expectation, even judgment.
But the loving, patient parent in Lincoln dismissed all this. “Let him run,” he said about Tad, “there’s time enough yet for him to learn his letters and get poky. Bob (his oldest) was just such a little rascal, and now he is a very decent boy.” Indeed, Tad did learn to read and he turned into a fine young man. Lincoln had been absolutely right.
This isn’t to say we don’t get our kids help (that we don’t monitor their progress), but first, we must give them space. Each child develops on their own timeline. Each kid has their own journey. They don’t need pressure from you. They need love and patience. They need understanding. They need support. They need encouragement. They need belief.
Give it to them.
In the July 7 entry of the Daily Dad book, we share the story of Dr. Edith Eger, the Holocaust survivor-turned-psychologist-and-author, who had a son born with athetoid cerebral palsy. When she confessed worry to the doctor about her son living a fulfilling life, she was told, “Your son will be what you make of him… You need to push him to the level of his potential.”
We need to help our kids become who they are—and the whole month of July in the Daily Dad book is dedicated helping you do just that. Grab a copy so you can read these lessons, learn from them, and put them into action as a parent today!