Guilt Won’t Help

Maybe you weren’t around enough right after they were born. Maybe your marriage wasn’t what it could have been. Maybe it’s because you just lost your temper or you had to move the family for work. And maybe it’s because, despite all that’s happening in the world, you feel guilty that you’re just not doing enough.

That guilt. We all feel it from time to time. Some more often than others. We feel it for what we’ve done as parents. For what we haven’t done as parents. For what we think maybe we could or should or need to have done as parents.

Here’s the thing: This guilt doesn’t help. It doesn’t make you a better parent. It only makes you feel worse. If anything, it takes a toll on you that makes it harder for you to actually do all those things that you think you should be doing for your kids.

This job is hard enough. You are flawed enough. You have screwed up and will screw up enough. We don’t have room or time or the luxury for guilt. We have to focus on right now. What we can do right now. What we can change right now. What we can tell them right now (that we love them, that we support them, that we want to help them).

That’s it. And it’s more than enough to feel good about as a parent.

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