There’s stuff that happens that nobody wants to have happen—especially to their kids. Whether it’s breaking an arm or being bullied, life visits things upon us. Things that frustrate, things that hurt, things that cause problems.

While we’d never choose for these things to happen, we have to remember when they do happen, we still do retain some choice: We choose how we see them. We choose the story we tell ourselves about them.

This is one of the things we have been talking about in regards to the pandemic. Too many parents are choosing to see that their children have been harmed, be it by distance learning or by not seeing their grandparents. Of course, these events are undesirable. There are consequences too. But “harmed?” This is a subjective word. This is a choice. As Marcus Aurelius reminds himself, the more you see yourself as harmed, the more you have been. Choose to see events differently and the logic holds true.

Have your children been affected by what’s happened? By having to change teachers mid-year because you moved? By having glasses? By the divorce? By their learning issues? Yes. It would be dishonest to claim otherwise. But negatively affected? That’s up to you. It’s up to you how you decide to see it and more important, it’s up to you how you choose to respond.

We decide whether we’re harmed or we use something as a growing opportunity. We decide whether we are pulled apart or come together because of what happened. We decide whether we’re resilient or fragile, there for our kids or not.

P.S. This was originally sent on June 16, 2021. Sign up today for the Daily Dad’s email and get our popular 11 page eBook, “20 Things Great Dads Do Everyday.”