It seems so dangerous. What if something happens? It was insane. What were they thinking? It’s just not a good idea. Do they have a backup plan? It’s just not realistic. Don’t they get how the world works?

Our kids are reckless. Our kids are kids. That means they don’t always think things through. Our kids are their own people. That means they have their own likes and dislikes, their own needs, their own interests. This puts us—the people who desperately want to keep them safe—on a collision course. It’s like in Morgan Wade’s song, where a child’s dreams can sound like a parent’s worst fears.

It’s all very reasonable, but as we’ve said, not their problem. It’s our problem. And so we have to find some other way to deal with those feelings.

Something you might try: curiosity. Instead of asking those rhetorical questions—Are you kidding me? You want to do WHAT!?!?—actually ask them some real questions. Try to understand. Try to get them to explain what they’re thinking. Help them come up with a backup plan. Ask them how they think the world works…explain to them how you think the world works.

Maybe you’ll learn something that will alleviate some of those worries. Maybe they’ll come to their senses. But either way, the two of you will connect…and that always makes things better.

P.S. If you’re looking for another way to alleviate some of those worries…

We created our Luctor et Emergo (”I struggle and emerge”) Medallion as a tangible reminder that our kids need to experience things without us intervening or worrying all the time.

“Let them struggle.” 
“Show them support.” 
“Help them grow.”

These reminders tell us that struggle isn’t something to fear, but something to grow through—which is why you’ll find them on the back of our Luctor et Emergo medallion.

Head here to get yours and reach for this balanced perspective when you need it most!