We know what kind of kids we want to raise. We want kids who are resilient. Kids who can face challenges. Kids who know how things work. Kids who know how to do hard things. Kids who can deal with criticism and failure. Kids who have a strong sense of themselves.
But do we know what it’s going to take to become that kid?
Because that kind of strength does not come easily and it’s often not fun to acquire.
We quoted the poem Good Timber recently, which talks about how the tree that never had to fight for sun and sky and air and light never became a forest king. There’s another beautiful stanza in that poem worth quoting:
Good timber does not grow with ease:
The stronger wind, the stronger trees;
The further sky, the greater length;
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.
Luctor et emergo, as we’ve said many times (here’s a reminder you can carry with you). They emerge from struggle stronger…but that struggle is tough. It’s tough for them and it’s tough for you to watch. But it has to happen. There is no other way to get what comes out the other side—satisfaction, self-sufficiency, strength.
You don’t have to be cruel about it. You can still help them. You just can’t deprive them of it. They must struggle: in sports, in school, in social situations. You can always be a resource. You can always be there to encourage and support. But if you exempt them from it, you are robbing them of the very thing they need most—the chance to grow.

P.S. Letting our kids struggle isn’t always easy—for us or them. That’s why we created our Luctor et Emergo challenge coin as a reminder not to solve every problem for your children and instead take the time to build the confidence and character they need to overcome life’s challenges. Grab yours to carry around today!