It was a critical summer. There was pressure on him from above and below—plus his own ambition. He figured he’d have more opportunities to take a break later, that there was always more trips, more summer vacations.
But as we said recently, Alexander Hamilton’s decision to forgo a trip upstate with his wife and kids was in the end, the beginning of his end. It was the same for Pierre Curie, as we said, who rushed home early from a lovely week in the mountains with his wife and girls, not realizing he was rushing home to be crushed to death by a wagon.
They both told themselves that what they were doing was so important, that it could not wait, that it could not be done without them. “Angelica,” Eliza sings to her sister in Hamilton, “tell this man John Adams spends the summer with his family.” “Angelica,” Hamilton replies, “tell my wife John Adams doesn’t have a real job anyway.”
Of course, John Adams did have a real job. He was vice-president of the United States, and plenty busy (and plenty ambitious too). What he actually was was a better family man. He’d been lucky—unlike Hamilton, whose father was a deadbeat—Adams had grown up in a loving, stable family (especially by the standards of 18th century colonial America). He had seen a better example and had better boundaries.
What was it that Hamilton stayed to do? How many remember? In light of what it cost him, how quickly do you think he came to regret it? What was the meeting that Curie rushed home for? And how tragic does it look in retrospect?
So many of the things we sacrifice our time and presence for don’t end up mattering in the end—while the things we skip, the people we leave behind, are often what we most wish we could have back in the end. Let that be a reminder that the real work is always at home. It’s where our real legacy is, too.
P.S. On a recent episode of the Daily Dad Podcast, Ryan shares more surprising parenting insights hidden in the hit musical Hamilton and reflects on what it means to show up where it really counts—at home.
Listen to the episode here and subscribe to the podcast today for more tips on how to grow our most important legacy as parents—our family.
