You only get 18 summers with your kids. It’s a popular bit of parenting advice. We’ve said it here before.

The problem is that it’s not really true. It’s not true because, on the one hand, as your kids get older, they’ll want more and more of those summers to themselves. It’s also not true, however, that you only get the summers you’re legally entitled too—that is, if you do it right, you can spend many more summers with them, their whole lives, if you have built a relationship that they get something out of.

But it’s also not true that you only get 18 summers. You get winters and springs and falls…and teacher work days and Tuesday afternoons. You get school day mornings and lazy Sundays. And you get a lot more of these. Why the focus on summer?

What matters is that you treat all the time with your kids as quality time. That you don’t just focus on summer vacations and the days without school. You can connect anytime. You can make memories anyday. Because when you look back, it won’t just be the summers you remember. It will be the warmth of a hand held during a chilly walk in the fall, the cozy nights reading together in winter, the spring mornings rushing out the door but still finding time to say, “I love you.”

Let’s cherish all those moments, not just the summers. Let’s make them all count.