There are going to be moments where we’re not sure we can keep going. We hit a plateau in our career. We hit a wall on mile 19 of our first marathon. Our marriage is struggling. Our attempt to lose weight has stalled out. Going back to school has turned out to be a lot more than we expected.
It’s natural to think about quitting in these moments. To question whether success or even sustaining is possible. But before we do that, we should turn to our secret weapon: our kids. In his beautiful retirement essay, the 3-time Superbowl Champion Dont’a Hightower (now the father of a young boy named Grayson) told the story of the Patriot’s most impressive and historic comeback win, and what he drew on to make it happen.
“I’ll never forget when we were in the locker room at half-time,” he writes. “We’re down 21–3, so some guys are quiet, and some guys are doing the rah-rah stuff. I sat there and for some reason thought, ‘Man, I don’t even have a son yet. But one day, he’s going to watch the tape of this game, and he’s gonna know one thing for sure. His dad never f***ing quit.’”
We talked a few months ago about Ukrainian President Zelensky’s famous inaugural address. He asked his country not to put up pictures of him on their wall. Put up photos of your kids, he said, make sure you earn their pride and respect. We’ve talked about the 300 Spartans who were selected for that selfless one-way mission because they had children–Leonidas knew his warriors would show their kids they would never quit, even in the face of impossible odds. This is an energy we can all channel as we face the challenges of life, big and small.
And here’s the other thing that you know and all parents and Dont’a now knows: as a parent, you’ve been through so much–nights that seemed like they would never end, weeks without sleep, harrowing fevers, hours of labor, doubts, fears, all of it–and you didn’t quit. You know you are not a quitter. You know you can get through hard things.
Of course you can keep going. Of course you can get through this–whatever it is.
