It was quite a journey from there to here. You got out of that small town. You made it into college. You’ve done better than your parents. You escaped the trap of addiction or abuse or close-mindedness that haunts your family.

You made it out.

That’s an incredible accomplishment. Your kids are lucky. They have someone who is present, who is loving, who is intentional. You saw your own childhood and said, “I won’t do this to my kids,” and you kept that promise.

But that doesn’t mean the work is done.

Because genetically, the traces of this are still there. And you know what else? Your kids aren’t exposed to that daily reminder, that cautionary tale, that example of what not to be. That’s the double-edged nature of making it out, just as in foreign policy it is the double-edged nature of decades of peace. People forget the cost of conflict, they forget the roots of conflict.

You’re going to have to work hard to make sure your kids understand the work you’ve done. You’re going to have to work hard to get them to see that physical and mental health are the result of hard work. You’re going to have to find other ways to cultivate resilience and determination in them. You’re going to have to find ways to show them the costs of going down the wrong paths, that certain mistakes can change the course not just of a life, but generations of a family.

You made it out. Congratulations. Now you’ve got to make sure your kids stay out.

If you’d like to do some further reading on the roots of substance abuse and what you can do as a parent to prevent it in your kids, we’ve been discussing an eye-opening book in Daily Dad Society recently—The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence by Jessica Lahey. It’s an amazing resource for understanding the genetic factors behind addiction and how you can break the cycle. I can’t recommend it highly enough as a resource for support and guidance. Get your copy here.

And we’re always welcoming new members to the Daily Dad Society, so please join us if you’d like to have in-depth discussions on these types of parenting books as well as the daily wins and challenges of raising great kids. It’s a supportive group that has great conversations every month, and we learn a lot from each other. I hope to see you there. Head here to learn more and sign up.