Their behavior has been a disaster. The mood has been crazy all day. No one is getting along. No one is listening.
As we’ve said before, one thing you learn as a parent is to check the reasons for this and most of the time, the reason is that your kids are tired, they’re hungry, they’re dysregulated, they’re overstimulated. They’re not bad kids, they just skipped a nap or lunch. Or they’re coming down with something.
This is always good to remember before you get upset. But how often do you stop to ask if you are the one who is the problem? Like maybe your kids are doing just fine, but you are the one without patience. Maybe the problem is that you stayed up too late last night watching TV. Maybe you’re overstimulated. Maybe you’re hot. Maybe you have been eating poorly and feel like crap. Have you tried taking your own temperature? It could be your energy that’s off and everyone else is just responding to that.
Don’t blame them. Check yourself first. Take care of yourself first. Make sure a drink of water or sitting down in the shade for a few minutes wouldn’t fix things. Make sure to pause and breathe. Be the example, not the problem.
P.S. This fall, Ryan Holiday will be in Europe and Canada for The Stoic Life Tour, discussing how you can be the example not just as a parent, but as a friend, colleague, and partner. He’ll also share how you can apply Stoic practices to better your life and answer your questions about parenting, philosophy, and more.
We’re also doing a couple premium Q&A sessions for VIP ticket holders, which includes special backstage access. Learn more and grab tickets here!
