Maybe you had a rough day with the kids. Or a tough day at the office. It’s in one of those moments you doubt whether you’re doing enough of this or that, or you’re left feeling jealous or unsatisfied. It’s in these moments you need to remember: “There are people who have seen their children die,” Mary Laura Philpont writes in her book Bomb Shelter.

We have talked many times about John Gunther’s book Death Be Not Proud. There are parents who have gone through that–who are left with nothing but memories of their child, nothing but a desperate wish for just one more day, one more minute like the one you are lamenting, doubting, wasting.

We are so lucky. Every day that they live, every day that we don’t have to bury a child, every day that we don’t have to mourn, that is a great day. The best day.

We cannot forget that. We have to be grateful. We have to be present. We have to do our best. Use this powerful perspective. Use it to be better. Use it while you still can.