No vacation, no special experience, not even a family outing, just happens on its own. There is planning. There is time off work. There is the expense. There is the intention–to spend quality time together.

And this is wonderful and it should be celebrated, soaked in when it happens. Just be sure not to give yourself too much credit because you booked a trip to the beach or got them excited for ice cream or the movies.

Because in some ways, this is actually the easiest option. What’s tougher? To just be present right now. Jerry Seinfeld made the distinction between “quality time” and “garbage time,” and as counterintuitive as it may seem, making the most of this so-called “garbage time” is a more impressive feat for a parent. Anyone can wow their kids with dessert or Disneyland–but can you make them feel special playing Legos on the floor? Just sitting and talking about life?

All time is quality time…if you choose to make it so. And you can’t let your future plans–to have a great time together, to go do something together, to all be together–let you off the hook right now where you are also together, in the living room, in the car on the way to school, stuck at the airport on the way to that vacation.