There are lots of different kinds of people. Some of us are handy. Some of us are intellectual. Some of us are introverted. Some of us are extroverted. Some of us are transgressive. Some of us are traditional.
But it’s important we remember that we are meant to be more than one thing, that we don’t have to put ourselves into boxes or give ourselves labels that say *this—*and only this—is who we are. Specialization, a scientist once said, is for insects. He was saying that we all have to be well-rounded, we all have to have range—because life demands it.
In his fantastic book Of Boys and Men (a must read and a must listen to Daily Stoic podcast guest), Richard Reeves speaks of a schoolmaster who defined success as a teacher as “cultivating men who would be ‘acceptable at a dance and invaluable in a shipwreck.’” Actually, that gendered part of it is unnecessary—shouldn’t all kids be at home in social situations and helpful in a crisis. Isn’t that what we want?
We say in The Daily Dad book (new leatherbound edition here) that our job as parents is to help our kids “become who they are.” This is true, but our job is also to expand who they are. Whether we have boys or girls, they should be able to do masculine and feminine things. Whether they are academic or athletic, they should be smart and strong. Whether they enjoy music or mechanics, they should be expressive and practical. Whether they prefer solitude or socializing, they should be reflective and engaging.
To raise a kid who embodies this kind of range and resilience is to prepare them for life’s challenges, to help them thrive wherever life takes them. Raise a kid who can do both, and they’ll be invaluable in any situation.
Over at the Daily Stoic podcast (subscribe here), Ryan spoke with Richard Reeves about why helping one gender won’t necessarily hurt the other and where young men can find guidance today.
For more conversations like this, check out our episode with author David Epstein (who wrote the must-read Range) who discussed how to build resilience in kids and why it’s better to raise children to be generalists rather than specialists.