Remind Yourself of This

Every parent struggles with it—this game of comparison. We see what other parents are doing and we question our own choices. We may even hear snide remarks. We are told there’s a right way and a wrong way from our government, from our school districts, from the “experts.” We can get flack from teachers, from neighbors, even from our own parents who think they know better, who wonder why we’re doing things differently than other people or differently than how they’ve always been done. And that’s not even getting into the criticism we’ll get from our own children, who of course, have their own reasons for not liking the rules we put in place or the standards we hold them to. 

We have to tune all this out. As Marcus Aurelius (a father of 14, no less) reminds himself: “The moment you wake up ask yourself: Is it going to bother me today if matters that are being fairly and properly attended to are criticized by someone else?” No, it is not. Because we have done the work, we’ve done the research, we’ve gotten on the same page as our spouse, we’ve made the decision. Which is enough!

Besides, the people you compare yourself to, he notes, what do they really know? He says look at the decisions they make, the things they are tempted and distracted by. Why would you let their opinions matter to you?

It can’t bother you that people disagree…especially those people. Trust yourself. Trust your process. Do your job.  Let come what may. 

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