Speak In This Language

Communication is always difficult. First, because they’re babies and they don’t know what anything means. Then because they’re toddlers and they don’t want to understand. And, honestly, that continues for quite a while doesn’t it?

But even when they’re older, even when they’ve grown up and moved out, it can be hard to communicate—to tell them how you feel, to make them understand how much you care, how important they are to you. Especially when gulfs open up between you—about politics, about lifestyles, about taste, about whatever.

Which is why there is a love language always available to us as parents, perhaps the oldest one. In The Daily Dad book (new leatherbound edition here), we quote Hemingway, who said, “When you love, you wish to do things for. You wish to sacrifice for. You wish to serve.”

This is why we go and get them that cup of water in the middle of the night. Sure, I’ll drive you to your friend’s house. Here, let me make you a sandwich. Here, let me pay for that. It’s why we’re over at their house fixing their sink, it’s why we’re sending them care packages. Sure, we’re flying in to see the grandkids, but really we’re there to do the laundry, to give them a break, to help.

Helping is how we close that distance. Helping is how we bridge the communication gap. It’s how we say “I love you.” It’s how we let them know what they mean to us.

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