Parenting doesn’t have to change a person. As we said recently, plenty of people remain the same selfish, immature, irresponsible people they were before they had kids. Which is why it’s worth making the distinction between having kids and being a parent.
There are lots more of the former in this world than the latter.
People who just have kids are still living the lives they had before. Parents live a different life. They become different people with different priorities, different capacities, different standards for themselves.
We talked about Tom Segura’s great Netflix specials recently, and he makes a great point about how becoming a parent should change you. One thing that changed for him, he said, is that he no longer had time for arguments with people. If he expresses an opinion at a party, he jokes, and someone says, “I disagree,” he immediately changes and agrees with them. He had no time, no energy, no motivation for pointless conflict. Even with stupid things his own parents say.
This is a great insight because now that you have little people to take care of, do you really have any reason to get in arguments on social media? Why do you care what other people wear–let alone need them to know that you think this or that about their outfit? Why bother? What does it matter?
For the rest of our lives, we’ve got our hands full. Do we need to go around looking for conflict? Conflict lives down the hall in our own homes! Let us mark a new chapter of our lives, one where we don’t have time or energy or need for argument or petty disagreements. Becoming parents should change that in us.