Sure, you want your car to be nice. You want your walls to be clean. You want your furniture to last. You want your couches and carpets stain-free. You want everything to be in its place.

But wasn’t the point of all the stuff you’ve bought to make your life and your kids’ lives better? Isn’t the point for these things to be functional? For them to be used the way they were intended to be?

We’ve talked about a New York Times article in which the writer reluctantly buys a huge Costco couch to accommodate her family of teens and pets:

“This couch is not the couch of my dreams. It isn’t an investment piece or a statement about my taste. It’s a tool for living, a purely functional entity. Elegant as a shipping container, it absorbs muddy paws and sticky fingers without complaint … There is liberation in furniture that needs no protection.”

When you have kids at home, all of your stuff—from the house itself to every cup and chair and square inch of your floor—is meant to be used. It’s meant to be lived in and lived on. Qualities like durability and washability should far outweigh stylishness and elegance.

Embrace that. Let go of trying to have everything clean and perfect. Let all the things do their job and be functional for your family. They’re tools for living and for making life with kids easier, not harder or more stressful.