Maybe it’s our favorite movie from when we were kids. Maybe it’s the sport we excelled at in high school. Maybe it’s visiting that hole in the wall in our hometown that we loved growing up. As parents, we can’t wait to share the things with our kids. We get excited imagining their faces lighting up with the same joy we felt.
But then reality hits. They find baseball boring. They’re terrified of E.T. They’d rather be at home playing with their toys than exploring that place we drove hours to visit.
As one New York Times writer learned after his son wasn’t interested in the books he loved as kids,
“Children are not miniature versions of yourself. They do not like what you like, or what you think they will like. No matter how many times this has been demonstrated to me over the years, I’m always pancaked when the reminder comes.”
Our job as parents isn’t to create mini-mes or to force our interests and passions onto our children. Our role is to help them discover who they are (as the month of July in The Daily Dad Book is all about), to support their unique interests, and to be fully present as they explore their own path in life.
When we do this, we’re shown a humbling but important lesson—our kids want to share their world with us, too. We should be excited when they tell us what they like and dislike, whether it matches up with our interests or not.When they show us their games, share their obsessions, or teach us new things, these are opportunities to connect. By engaging with their interests and showing real enthusiasm, we form deeper bonds than any planned activity or trip down memory lane could create.
P.S. The Daily Dad book (new leatherbound edition here!) has an entire section dedicated to one of parenting’s most important challenges—helping your children discover and become who they truly are. It’s filled with essential lessons on creating the space and presence your children need to grow into their authentic selves instead of them trying to live up to your vision. Grab your copy over at the Daily Dad store today (it makes a great Father’s Day gift)!
