It’s probably because they so rarely listen to what we ask them to do that we assume they can’t hear us. But they can.
They overhear what you’re saying on the phone. They’re not fully asleep in the car, while you and your spouse talk. They catch some of what you’re muttering under your breath too. Don’t you remember being a kid and popping your head up from the basement or sitting at the top of the stairs and eavesdropping on what the adults were saying at dinner?
We know they’re listening, so we ought to use this opportunity. At the very least, let’s make sure that what our kids are catching us venting about isn’t exclusively negative—negative stuff about them. We can make sure they overhear us talking about how proud we are of them, how kind they are, how much better they make our lives. If we want them to feel loved, supported, wanted—let them hear us express that out in the world, and not just the things that make them doubt it (our frustrations, our concerns, our resentments).
Our kids will form, in part, their sense of themselves through what they hear others say of them, what they think people think of them. So if our words are bound to echo in their minds for years to come, let’s make sure they ring in love and encouragement more than anything else.