We don’t want them to suffer. We don’t want them to be afraid. We don’t want them to struggle—not the way we struggled. So we help them. So we fight for them. So we work really hard to give them a better life.
This is all well and good. It is our job. But we have to remember that struggle is a part of life, that resistance is key to muscle growth and that most of all, the ability to push through that struggle and resistance, to not be deterred or destroyed by it, is the key to being a resilient human.
As the poem “Good Timber” by Douglas Malloch goes,
The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.
As we say here (and you can get a reminder to carry with you), luctor et emergo. “Struggle and I emerge.” Our kids need to be challenged. They need to get their share of rain.
So let’s not rob them of that. Let’s not smooth every path, solve every problem, shield them from every storm. Instead, let’s stand beside them as they face the wind, reminding them they’re strong enough to withstand it. Let’s teach them that struggle isn’t a punishment—it’s preparation. It’s what makes them grow. It’s what helps them emerge.

P.S. Letting our kids struggle and receive their share of rain isn’t always easy—for us or them. That’s why we created our Luctor et Emergo challenge coin as a reminder not to solve every problem for your children and instead take the time to build the confidence and character they need to overcome life’s challenges. Grab yours to carry around today!