It’s important. It’s prestigious. It pays the bills. You like your job—you chose it after all. At the very least, you decided to commit countless hours of your life to making it a career. Certainly there are many people who would kill for what you have, would trade their miserable windowless office for where you work, trade their grueling underpaid shifts for what you take home.
But your kids? They’re not so easily impressed. They don’t appreciate the trappings of your success. They don’t care much for status or seniority. All they know is how it affects them. And on some level, they notice how it affects you, the person who walks in the door after those long days and business trips.
Adrian Wojnarowski had one of the most high profile jobs in sports. As an NBA news reporter, he broke so many stories that he became a sort of power broker within the league—to basketball fans, his famous scoops of trades and signings became known as “Woj bombs.” But it was a grind. He lived on his phone. There was never enough scoops…never a slow news day. As he started to contemplate the unthinkable—walking away at the top of his game at age 55—he went to his 22-year-old son Ben to ask what he thought. “People think your job is great,” his son told him. “I think your job fucking sucks. Retire—and go travel with Mom.”
Our kids see through the pretension. Our kids even see through the “necessities.” Because what they want is us. What they care about is having a parent around. What they care about are the simple things—someone to drive them around, a mom and dad with energy and patience and time, someone who has time to chat on the phone instead of constantly staring at their own.
We can’t all quit our jobs and retire early but we can make sure our jobs are providing for our families instead of taking us away from them. Success means nothing if it costs you the moments that matter most—because to your kids, you are the real reward.
P.S. David Letterman learned a similar lesson, as we share in the March 15 entry of the Daily Dad book (new leatherbound edition here!), after telling his family to hang it up as the king of late night.
In turn, his son asked whether that meant he could still watch cartoons or not (you can watch our video about this moment here).
Head here to grab your copy of the Daily Dad book, which is full of practical advice and wisdom about what it means to prioritize your family, no matter your level of success or prestige in life.
