It would be wonderful if all our dreams came through, if we got every lucky break. It would be wonderful if we could be further along in our careers, if we could afford everything our kids wanted and needed. It would be wonderful if we could be everything they needed too—if we didn’t have these limitations and these flaws.

But of course we do and, of course, we will not be able to do or get it all.

Harry Truman deeply loved his daughter Margaret and often wrote her very touching letters. In one, he wrote

“Your dad will never be reckoned among the great, but you can be sure he did his level best and gave all he had to his country. There is an epitaph in Boothill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona, which reads, ‘Here lies Jack Williams; he done his damndest.’ What more can a man do?”

Is there a better epitaph we can hope for in life? Or as parents?

We are not going to be perfect. We are going to fall short. They are going to want for some things. What counts though, is that we did our best. That we really tried. Our kids can tell. They can sense it. They can see. And when they notice—either in the moment or years later—we may face a question similar to one posed to another American president, Jimmy Carter. Someone important to him asked if he had always done his best. “No,” Carter answered thoughtfully. The inevitable follow-up question came: “Why not?”