It made you angry. It made you worried. It caught you by surprise. How your child just lied to your face, how they talked back to their mother, how they hit their brother, how they left the stove on and could’ve burned the whole house down, how they ran across the parking lot and just barely missed being hit. You have to address this. You have to say something so they know this isn’t okay, that this isn’t how you treat people—especially their parents!
But maybe not right now. You’re too angry, you’re too worked up. Anger is an exaggerator and magnifies the worst in every situation. Emotions rarely make stressful situations better. No, they take a bad situation and make it worse.
That’s why Seneca said that “delay is the greatest remedy for anger.” And not just anger, by frustration, fear, annoyance, worry, or disgust.
Over at Daily Stoic, we created the Pause and Reflect Medallion as a powerful reminder of this essential wisdom. In fact, the back of the coin features an engraving of Seneca’s powerful quote “DELAY IS THE REMEDY,” surrounded by the letters of the alphabet—a nod to an ancient Stoic exercise from Athenodorus, who advised a young Octavian (the future Emperor Augustus) to recite the letters of the alphabet before responding to something that had provoked him. This deliberate delay gives your rational mind time to regain control from your emotions, preventing reactions you might later regret.
Now, no one is saying you can’t respond at all. You probably will have to address whatever happened and make it a teachable moment for your kids. But you’re not going to be able to do that right now. So wait a minute. Take a walk. Hold your medallion. Text your spouse. Put a reminder down to bring it up tomorrow. Deal with it when you get home from work. Let cooler heads prevail.
A pause creates space. A pause creates clarity. A pause can change everything.
And you can reach into your pocket and grab that pause with the Daily Stoic Pause & Reflect Medallion. When anger flares up, when you’re about to say something you might regret, let this medallion serve as your moment of pause. Allow the physical act of holding it remind you of Seneca’s wisdom and create the delay that can save you from words you can’t take back.
Show your kids that it’s possible to control how you react. Show them that emotions don’t have to control you—or them.
Head to dailystoic.com/pause to get your Daily Stoic Pause & Reflect Medallion today!
