We want our kids close. We want to see them. We want to spend time with them.

And yet, what do we do? We push them away! By hassling them over things that don’t matter. By enforcing rules that don’t matter. By criticizing them. By punishing them.

As we said recently, we’re often as embarrassingly inept as King George in Hamilton, when he threatens to “send a fully armed battalion” to remind the colonies of his love for them. In The Daily Dad book (get your keepsake leather edition here for holiday gifting), we talk about Lincoln’s strained relationship with his father, who pushed his children away with his gruffness, his strictness, and ultimately his physical discipline. Lincoln swore he would do things differently, saying “It is my pleasure that my children are free, happy and unrestrained by parental tyranny.”

This isn’t to say that we spoil our kids rotten and that we never have to be firm or critical. It’s just a reminder: The way to make your kids feel loved is to love them. The way to be close to them is to hold them close—not with heavy hands, but with open arms.

P.S. You can start 2026 with a meaningful way to reflect on and record daily memories of your kids, your parenting journey, and everyday inspiration. Reserve your limited-run copy of our new Daily Dad Five Year Reflection Journal today! Daily Dad Society members receive 10% off!