It was such a dangerous thing to do. It was so stupid. It was obviously wrong. It was the opposite of what you told them. It was the opposite of what they were supposed to do.

What were they thinking? “Seriously, what were you thinking?” you may have in fact just found yourself saying to your 6 year-old…or your 16 year old.

If you really want to know the answer though, it’s pretty simple: They weren’t thinking. They were being a kid. They were being a kid with a half-formed brain. They were being an adolescent riddled with hormones. They were doing what felt right. What they weren’t doing was thinking about all the things they didn’t know yet, considering the factors they weren’t aware of yet, worrying about the consequences they had not fully comprehended yet.

Welcome to being a kid. Welcome to being a person, honestly. We do inexplicable, ridiculous things—most of them out of ignorance, most of them out of immaturity. If there is anything you should try to “understand” as a parent, it’s that. Understand—and remember—that they are where they are, are who they are. They are developing. They are experiencing. They are figuring stuff out. They are at the mercy of biology and emotions that it takes years to fully master (as we ourselves are proof of).

Appreciate that. Make room for them. Help them with that.