It’s tempting to give them the answers. Sometimes, it’s even fun. It makes everything go faster, smoother, and lets you get back to what you were doing. But you can’t. You just can’t.

We’ve said it before: the goal isn’t to raise kids who know everything—it’s to raise kids who know how to figure things out. And that means you have to let them figure things out.

John Stuart Mill, reflecting on his unusual childhood education overseen by his father, recalled, “Anything which could be found out by thinking I was never told, until I had exhausted my efforts to find it out for myself.” His father wasn’t some unyielding homeschooling tyrant or a so-called “Bean Dad” (as we’ve criticized before). Instead, he nudged his son toward self-discovery. Mill had to wrestle with the unknown, struggle to understand, and try (and sometimes fail) before his father stepped in to help.

This wasn’t neglect—it was faith.

Luctor et emergo, remember? Struggle and they emerge? That’s the essence of growth. When we hold back some answers, it’s not because we don’t love them—it’s because we love them so deeply. It’s because we believe in their ability to figure it out, even if it takes time. We believe even more in what they’ll become by struggling through the process: resilient, resourceful, and ready for the challenges ahead.

The struggle is not an obstacle. It’s the path.

It requires patience to allow our kids to struggle. It requires not stepping in to save some time, and robbing them of the lesson they could have learned. We’ve created the Luctor Et Emergo Medallion to help you remember to slow down and take advantage of teachable moments with your children.

Let them struggle.

Show them support.

Help them grow.

Grab your Luctor Et Emergo Medallion at our Daily Dad store!