They need us. They’re hopeless without us. Everything will get screwed up if we’re gone for more than a few days. What if something happens? What if something comes up?

Is this the inner-monologue of an over-anxious parent? Sadly, no. These are the lies we tell ourselves about work. It’s how we rationalize those extra hours at the office. It’s the reason we can’t take that vacation, why we have to rush back, why we can’t be away too long.

It’s Alexander Hamilton, staying in Manhattan instead of going upstate with his family—the decision that ruined his life. It’s Pierre Curie, rushing back from that trip early, not realizing he was rushing back to his own death.

We tell ourselves that we’re indispensable. That our presence is absolutely necessary. And you know what? We’re right. We’re indispensable to our families. That’s who needs us. That’s who is hopeless without us. That’s the thing we can’t afford to be away from.

Nothing proves this more than the giant hole those two men left in their children’s lives–nothing shows the stakes more than the consequences of their skewed priorities. Our kids are not a distraction from our work, we say in The Daily Dad book, they are our work. Decide accordingly.

P.S. Under the right context, our kids can also improve our work, too.

That’s what happened when Hamilton biographer Ron Chernow came on The Daily Stoic Podcast and Ryan’s Hamilton-obsessed son asked him some ‘hard-hitting’ questions about working on the musical with writer Lin-Manuel Miranda.

You can check out his full answer here, and watch our full interview with Ron Chernow over on the Daily Stoic YouTube channel.