Things used to be different, we know this. Women gave birth without their husbands present. Men barely lent a hand to the day-to-day parenting responsibilities. Families used to rule over their children’s life with an iron—or worse, a raised–fist.
In fact, as we know, it was this way not that long ago. Perhaps your own childhood was defined by these commonly accepted practices. Perhaps you turned out ok…but that doesn’t mean it was the best way to do things. We used to put kids in cars without seatbelts. We used to send them to work in factories. We used to decide who they were allowed to marry.
“[E]very generation has about two or three great ideas and a dozen or so terrible ones,” Zadie Smith recently wrote. “For example, Gen X nudged forward the good idea that men should be encouraged to be fully involved in the raising of their own children. Also: love is definitely love.” Lovely no?
Not every new thing we’ve rolled out as far as parenting goes is an improvement—we’ve talked here about snowplow and helicopter parents. We’ve talked about Tiger Moms and parents who try to do an inhuman amount.
But it’s worth reiterating and celebrating these positive—and shockingly recent developments—because they are positive and very recent (Gen X is ‘65 -’80): Both parents should be involved and present for their kids. And the second part is even more important and an essential part of the first part: Love is love, whoever you love, whoever you are. Tell your kids you love them. Tell them you’re proud of them. Accept them for who they are. Accept everyone for who they are.
Love. Love. Love.