You tell them you love them, of course, and you do. But what do you think your kids hear most from you? Is it words of affection and kindness and encouragement? Or is it those phrases we find ourselves repeating like broken records?
Stop it.
Hurry up.
C’mon.
Why did you do that?
What were you thinking?
Get it together.
Clean up your room.
Pick that up.
Didn’t I tell you to stop that?
Quit running.
Quit shouting.
Why don’t you listen?
Go to your room.
We don’t control exactly how often these things end up needing to be said—our kid’s behavior does to a certain degree. But what we do control is the ratio in which these phrases exist with the other phrases, the ones we—many years from now—will be crushed if they haven’t internalized. Those that express how proud we are of them, that they are enough, that they make us happy, that we love them, that we’re there if they need us.
Take a minute today and think about what your kids hear from you most. Ask yourself if you’re sending the message you really want to be sending.
