When he was in college and struggling to live up to the expectations of his illustrious family, the writer Walker Percy wrote a letter to his uncle, William Alexander Percy. He probably expected to receive a lecture about his grades in reply. Or be admonished for letting the family down. Or perhaps to be sent money for a tutor.
But the reply surprised him. Because there wasn’t any of that. Instead, his uncle Will, who had adopted Percy and his brothers and introduced them to the writings of Marcus Aurelius and the Stoics, told him he did not care for one second about the grades.
“My whole theory about life,” Will wrote back, despite the fact that he himself had effortlessly graduated from Harvard, “is that glory and accomplishment are of far less importance than the creation of character and the individual good life.”
Isn’t that wonderful? Isn’t that exactly what every stressed, self-critical, confused kid needs to hear in life? Who you are is more important than what you do. I’d rather you be good than successful. Character is more important than cash.
It can be easy to lose sight of this. Because we know how competitive the world is. Because we see the potential our kids have. Because we don’t want them to make the same mistakes we did. But ultimately, those things will take care of themselves if we raise them right. The ancients knew that character was fate and we need to remember that with our own kids. The good life will be a successful life—and a more important one, too.
This story is adapted from Ryan Holiday’s latest book Right Thing, Right Now: Good Values. Good Character. Good Deeds., which is officially available for preorder!
It’s a book on the transformational power of finding purpose, sticking to your convictions, and pursuing the individual good life. How to realize your potential…without sacrificing your kids and spouse. How to help those in need…without losing your character or moral code. How to leave our kids more than we had…without making them pay for our sins.
You see, the Stoics saw the virtue of justice not as a system of rules and codes outside of ourselves, but as a habit, a craft, a way of living. As a form of excellence and a statement of purpose. This is the attitude we must cultivate in our kids—that who they are, that what they stand for, is more important than success or accolades. But as always as parents, that starts first with us setting the example. Right Thing, Right Now will show you how.
If you’ve gotten anything out of these emails over the years, it would mean a lot if you supported this book. We have some exciting bonuses if you preorder the book, including a signed page from the original manuscript (full of Ryan’s handwritten changes) and a special welcome video from Ryan explaining how writing the book changed him as a writer and father.
We also have a limited amount of signed, numbered first-edition copies of the book—plus unsigned copies cheaper than Amazon. Head here to preorder Right Thing, Right Now and get your bonuses TODAY!
