They don’t understand the context. They’ll forget that you apologized right after. They can’t possibly conceive the stress that a parent feels. They definitely won’t admit that they played a part in it too.
All your kids will remember is the vibes.
That you were upset a lot. That you had so little patience. That there was always tension. That your greatest hits–as we talked about recently–was mostly filled with criticism or worries or hurrying them along. That’s what you’re defining their childhood by, that’s what you’re searing not even into their memory but physiologically into their very being.
And for what? So you can get to their airport with plenty of time to spare? So their GPA is more impressive than the other kids in the neighborhood? So the piano teacher doesn’t think you’re a bad parent? C’mon. None of this stuff matters–or at least, it doesn’t matter like you think it does.
The vibe you want is calmness. Presence. Security. Acceptance. Love. That’s what you want them to remember, that’s what you want to inculcate in them. So act accordingly.
P.S. In moments of anxiety, it’s hard to remember we have power over this all-encompassing reaction. It’s even harder to remember the little eyes watching you, learning from you. We’re excited to tell you our very popular Anxiety Medallion is back in stock, and created for this exact situation. Hold the coin and be reminded of the power you have to take a beat and not let anxiety overwhelm you.
