Of course, her father would have preferred to be powerful, to be wealthy, to hold some prestigious position. He didn’t want to dig sewage canals or wait on entitled aristocrats. He didn’t want to be at the bottom of Rome’s social hierarchy. Nobody would choose that life.
But in The Girl Who Would Be Free—our children’s fable about the Stoic philosopher Epictetus that just celebrated its three year anniversary—Epictetus’s father doesn’t have a choice. Not about their situation anyway, their status—not in a place like ancient Rome. He couldn’t choose his fate, so he chose instead to focus on how he bared it. “We didn’t choose this,” he tells his daughter, “but we can choose not to add to our troubles by complaining about them.” When she turns up her nose at their dirty job, he tells her, “How you do anything is how you do everything. And if you do it well, it can be beautiful, no matter what it is.” He refuses to be humiliated, refuses to be broken. “No one has the power to degrade us,” he says, “only themselves by being unfair and unkind.”
In real life, Epictetus taught his students that freedom lies in wanting only what we can control: our character, our choices, our reasoned response. Our brand-new guide How To Read Epictetus (A Daily Stoic Digital Guide) will show you to do that—and so much more. Grab the guide before tomorrow, July 26, to receive an exclusive invite to a LIVE Q&A with Ryan Holiday where you can ask your questions on how to use Epictetus’ wisdom to become the model parent you want to be for your children.
Because whoever you are, whatever you do, you can be someone your kids respect, someone they can be proud of. How? By doing that work well. By taking it seriously. By taking yourself seriously. By taking your role as their parent, as their model, as their protector seriously. The single parent working long shifts in a restaurant is far more impressive than the half-assing stockbroker anyway, even if the market compensates these two roles differently. The person who is committed, who is doing their best, who is in command of themselves? The person who focuses on what’s in their control, that is doing what needs to be done, the right way? That is the true philosopher, not the one who has the fancy degree.
You are taking care of your family. You are doing what needs to be done. That’s enough to earn you the respect of yourself, and the people who matter. You are being what your kids deserve, you are deserving of the responsibility given to you. Be proud and wear it proudly.
P.S. Become a master over your fate, Epictetus taught, by accepting the things you can’t control in life and focus your efforts on things you can shape and influence.
Grab our BRAND-NEW course How To Read Epictetus (A Daily Stoic Digital Guide) to learn how to do that and model that example for your kids (and more!).
Make sure to get the guide before tomorrow, July 26, to receive an exclusive invite to Ryan’s LIVE Q&A. You can also receive a 25% discount when you bundle the guide with a copy of Epictetus’ Discourses.
Just head to dailystoic.com/epictetuscourse to learn more and get your guide, book, or bundle today!
