Sure, it’s easier for them. They’re not as busy. They’re not as in demand. What they do isn’t nearly as important—not as important as what we do anyway. 

So of course they’re around more. They didn’t have to be in three different cities last week. Their phone isn’t ringing—certainly not from the type of people we have yelling in our ear. Of course, they can be there for every pickup and drop off, for every recital. Where else are they going to be? 

“Angelica,” Hamilton sings in the eponymous musical written by Lin-Manuel Miranda, “tell my wife John Adams doesn’t have a real job anyway.” John can go away for the summer, Hamilton thinks, he’s not as important as me. 

But what if he got it completely wrong? We’ve said before that being rich is getting to see your kids a lot and that being powerful is having control over your own calendar. John Adams was important enough to go away for the summer, to dictate how he spent his own life. John Adams liked being around his kids and they liked being around him (he took John Quincy with him on long walks and horseback rides through the Massachusetts countryside when he was diplomat to the Continental Congress). Was this easier for John or was it the result of hard-won freedom and difficult choices? 

You think you’re so important, yet here you are being bossed around by someone else. You think you’re a hard worker, yet here you are neglecting your most important job. You think you’re so powerful, yet here you are powerless to step away on a summer vacation. Instead, what you’re really doing is chasing status and validation in exchange for the one thing you can never get back—precious time with your family. That’s a very, very bad trade. 

P.S. On this very special episode of the Daily Dad podcast, tag along as Ryan takes his oldest son to see Hamilton—his latest obsession. 

Ryan reflects on how the father-son outing went, why it’s crucial we show genuine interest in our kids’ passions, and even includes a few thoughts in Clark’s own words along the way. 

Listen to the podcast here and subscribe to the Daily Dad podcast today for more ways to make memories that last with your kids.