“Brooding.”

“Sullen.”

“Moodily.”

“Immature.”

He aches to impress people. He takes crazy risks. He bursts into tears (and is mortified by it). He talks back to his mother. He can’t even conceive that she too might be going through something.

This isn’t a description of your teenager, however much it might seem. It is, in fact, an ancient bard describing a teenager roughly 3,000 years ago. As we talked about recently, Emily Wilson deftly captures Homer’s character Telemachus in her beautiful edition of The Odyssey. With those words we quoted above, we come to understand: This is how teenagers have been for all time.

So why do we take their personality so personally?

It’s worth remembering, they’re like this not because you did anything wrong—they’re like this because it’s hard to be a teenager. Because they are by definition immature. They are by definition developing. They are struggling with who they are. They are struggling with all that’s happening around them. They are struggling with what’s happening in their body.

Of course they’re moody and sullen and broody. Wouldn’t you be? Weren’t you?

What you need to do as a parent, which we’ve said, is understand. You need to accommodate these feelings. You need to empathize with these emotions. You need to remember what it’s like in these developmental years. You need to be there for them even when they’re at their most intolerable. So be ready.

P.S. Emily Wilson’s translation of Homer’s epic poem The Odyssey is one of our favorites. If you haven’t read The Odyssey since high school and want a fresh re-read, or it’s been on your TBR list for years now, this is the edition you want. Grab a copy here from The Painted Porch (and thanks as always for patronizing independent bookstores)!