Winston Churchill had a lot of famous ancestors. He was related to John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough, and Princess Diana. He was related to Charles II and King Henry VIII of England.

These great names—indeed the whole of British history—inspired him to greatness. It’s what he called upon in England’s ‘finest hour.’ It’s what guided him through war and setbacks, defeats, and opportunities. His visions of these ancestors supported him. They encouraged him. They steeled him.

But Winston Churchill was also haunted by a ghost, specifically the ghost of his father, Randolph. For Winston, his father was a ghost-like figure in life and in death—Randolph was almost never around even while he lived. There’s a terribly sad letter Churchill wrote after learning that his father had been right down the road from his boarding school and not even visited. And then in death—Randolph died at age 45 when Churchill was just 20—he haunted him still.

In fact, Churchill wrote a haunting short story called “The Dream” about it in 1947. The very first words out of his dead father’s mouth? A snide remark about how his son’s painting hobby was unlikely to amount to much. Hhis father would also bring up the boy’s poor grades, his poor handwriting, all sorts of insignificant things that he still believed had an outsized importance, despite his son’s incredible achievements.

Churchill’s father’s absence, his father’s cruelty, his father’s lack of belief in him, his father’s financial irresponsibility? It hovered over Churchill’s life. As it would for anyone subjected to such abuse and neglect.

At the beginning of The Daily Dad book (new leatherbound edition here) we draw on a dichotomy put forth by the great Bruce Springsteen—which says that every parent hase a choice: Will we be an ancestor to our children…or a ghost? Will we support and guide? Will we haunt and plague? Will our presence fill them with joy and comfort…or fear and pain?

We must make the right choice.

P.S. Winston Churchill left a complicated legacy in his own family, as detailed in the riveting book Churchill & Son, which explores Winston’s complex relationship with his only son Randolph. We have copies available at the Painted Porch.

The Daily Dad book is also full of meditations and practical wisdom (Churchill is featured in the entries for March 25, July 31, August 19, and more) on how you can make sure your legacy is a positive one that resonates for generations through your family.

You can get signed copies here or grab our new leatherbound edition over at the Daily Dad Store today!