Our kids are the most important thing in the world to us. Certainly more important than some stranger. We certainly care more about them than what some random person thinks, or some silly bit of etiquette. We’d put up with excruciating discomfort for them. We’d endure anything for them.
Yet…
It’s our kids whose school drop-off that we’re rushing through because we don’t want to be one minute late to a meeting with some important person across towns. It’s our kids who we are shushing—and then speaking to harshly—because they’re making noise while we’re on the phone to someone. It’s our kid we’re insulting because we think their clothing choices look weird (what if their teacher says something? What if another parent judges us). It’s our kid who is stuck waiting for us because that conversation dragged on and we didn’t want to be rude to the person who couldn’t get the hint.
When you think about it, it’s crazy some of the things we put before our kids. It’s crazy how they’re the ones getting the short end of the stick—our short tempers or patience or resources—and how naturally and thoughtlessly we hand those things to other people instead. God forbid we’d have to enforce boundaries to someone else, god forbid we’d have to make them wait, god forbid we make someone else put up with some noise on the phone.
We say we love our kids. We say we put them first. That’s great. Now let’s act like it.