{"id":1140,"date":"2020-12-17T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-12-17T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailydad.com\/?p=1140"},"modified":"2022-06-29T01:51:17","modified_gmt":"2022-06-29T01:51:17","slug":"which-will-it-be","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailydad.com\/which-will-it-be\/","title":{"rendered":"Which Will It Be?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In his Broadway show, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dailydad.com\/help-them-become-who-they-are\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Bruce Springsteen<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2014whose songs have often focused on <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dailydad.com\/why-this-is-so-important\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the painful legacy of our parents<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2014explained the choice that all of us have as fathers. \u201c<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We are ghosts or we are ancestors in our children&#8217;s lives,\u201d he said at the beginning of \u201c<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=pnMqsziGMVI\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Long Time Comin\u2019<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u201d <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWe either lay our mistakes, our burdens upon them, and we haunt them, or we assist them in laying those old burdens down, and we free them from the chain of our own flawed behavior. And as ancestors, we walk alongside of them, and we assist them in finding their own way, and some transcendence.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Will you be a ghost or an ancestor to your children? Will you haunt them or guide them? Will you inspire them or curse them?<\/p>\n<p><span>Of course we all know which one those things we <\/span><i><span>want<\/span><\/i><span> to be. The struggle is in rising above our own demons, our own issues, the ghost of our own parents.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>But that\u2019s why <\/span><a style=\"background-color: #f7f7f7;\" href=\"https:\/\/dailydad.com\/try-not-to-give-them-anything-extra\/\"><span>we do this work<\/span><\/a><span>. That\u2019s why we go to therapy and read books. Why we stay up at night before bed talking to our spouse about how hard this parenting thing is. It\u2019s why we ask our kids\u2014<\/span><i><span>How are you doing? Do you need anything? Can I get you anything?<\/span><\/i><span> It\u2019s why, wordlessly, when we hold them, we promise to ourselves to do better, to try harder, <\/span><a style=\"background-color: #f7f7f7;\" href=\"https:\/\/dailydad.com\/you-cant-choose-your-parents-but-you-can\/\"><span>to not repeat the mistakes we saw growing up<\/span><\/a><span>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>This isn\u2019t going to be easy. We\u2019re not going to be perfect. But we\u2019re going to keep trying.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re going to be an ancestor. Someone who guides them. We\u2019re not going to be a ghost.<\/p>\n<p><b><i>P.S.\u00a0<\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/dailydad.com\/\"><span class=\"s2\"><b><i>This was originally sent<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/a><b><i> on December 18, 2020. Sign up today for <\/i><\/b><span class=\"s2\"><b><i>the <a href=\"https:\/\/dailydad.com\/\">Daily Dad&#8217;s email <\/a><\/i><\/b><\/span><b><i>and get our popular 11 page eBook, \u201c20 Things Great Dads Do Everyday<\/i><\/b><span class=\"s2\"><b><i>.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In his Broadway show, Bruce Springsteen\u2014whose songs have often focused on the painful legacy of our parents\u2014explained the choice that all of us have as fathers. \u201cWe are ghosts or we are ancestors in our children&#8217;s lives,\u201d he said at the beginning of \u201cLong Time Comin\u2019.\u201d \u201cWe either lay our mistakes, our burdens upon them,&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Which Will It Be? 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