Yes, it’s not good to be late. Yes, you’ve got places to go. You’ve got emails to respond to. You were hoping to get a workout in today. You were hoping to have a few minutes to relax on the couch.

So yeah, when your kid is dragging their feet getting ready, when they ask for another drink of water, another story, when they sneak out of their bedroom after you’ve already tucked them in, when you have to go back to the house because they forgot something…it’s frustrating. But here’s what you have to remind yourself:

You already blew up your life.

You’re already a mess. You’re already tired. You’ve been late a million times. You’re so far behind on email that you’ll never catch up. So stop stressing and give your kids what they need. Slow down. Don’t rush them. Don’t neglect them. If they need an extra hug, if they want you to stay with them until they fall asleep? You can afford it–just put it on your tab.

In the end, you’ll remember the time you stuck around to make sure school drop off went well, not that you were the first one to arrive at the meeting. Your relationship will be built–solidly–around the fact that you always made the necessary time for them, not that you conquered your daily to-do list. You chose to have kids which means you accepted things being a mess. What you don’t have to accept is putting them second to things that don’t matter.