It can be scary. In many ways our kids are like us, but sometimes, it’s like, who is this person? They think differently. They want different things. They have talents and ambitions and inclinations we can’t even wrap our heads around.
Well…we have to figure out a way. Because our job was never to make a replica of ourselves. Our job, as we say in The Daily Dad book (new leatherbound edition here), is to help our kids become who they are.
The actress Tilda Swinton was so alienated from her aristocratic, straight-laced family as a kid that she often suspected she was adopted. It was only later, she told the New York Times, that she realized this was a ruse, that she’d been misled. Her family tree was actually full of artists, but her parents and grandparents had obscured this from her. As she explained, “They wereI think they’d forgive me for saying, rather frightened of artists.”
Again, it’s understandable to be a little intimidated by the talents and interests and even beliefs of our kids. But we can’t give into this fear. We have to get over it. Because our responsibility here is so important. We have to accept, encourage, and support—because that’s how they become who they’re meant to be. Not who we expected, not who we imagined, not what we are most comfortable with, but their fullest, truest selves. If we let fear or discomfort hold us back, we risk making them feel like strangers in their own family. Instead, let’s show them that they are seen, valued, and loved—for exactly who they are.
P.S. In The Daily Dad book, the month of July is dedicated to this essential job we have as parents—helping our children understand who they truly are and guiding them toward realizing their highest potential. You can grab signed copies here.
Or if you want a copy of the book designed to stand the test of time, check out the premium leatherbound edition of the Daily Dad—full of features that will allow the book and its collected wisdom to be passed down to your children and further generations to come.
