Look, they are who they are at this point. It’s not just been decades of life this way but decades of them being parents. The cake is baked. The paint is dry. The cement is hardened. You’re not going to change them. You’re not going to get them to see. You’re not going to get what you need.

Is that sad? Yeah, a little. But you know what you can do? Aside from choosing how much of a role they’ll have in your life and what you do with the difficult feelings that they bring up, you can choose to be a better parent.

Because there is still a lot you can do there. You’re not going to change someone in their seventies. Nor can you go back in time to address what could have been addressed all those years ago. Wait, actually, you kind of can. Because you are where they were years ago. The cement has not hardened, the paint is not dry, the cake is not yet even in the oven.

So you can choose to be different. You can focus your energy on where it will make the biggest difference…with your kids.

You don’t have to go back in time. You can change the present…and in the process, not only help your kids but help heal your own wounds.